Maybe

My Dear Tabby,

It's hard to feel rejected by one of the people i love the most.  I'm having a hard time rationalizing it all to myself.  Maybe he's tired, maybe he's distracted, maybe he just doesn't have any real interest.  Maybe maybe maybe.  

Underneath all that is 'what the fuck is wrong with me?' 

I know what you're going to say: Talk about it.  Tell him how you're feeling, he loves you and he'll want to know and try to do something different.  

I have.  I have said all the things.  Multiple times.  

So fuck me,

Fucked Not fucked

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Dear Fucked,

You're right.  I'm going to tell you to talk about it, but I'm going to tell you to talk bout it TO YOURSELF.  You need to understand everything about how you feel about this situation.  You need to know what you want and what you're willing to accept and what you're willing to release.  

Maybe he doesn't have any real interest.  What does that mean for you?  Can you accept that?

What if he thinks there really is something the fuck wrong with you? Then what?  Are you willing to change? Yes, no, maybe?  

So you've said something before?  That may well be, but even now you are different.  You see it with different eyes.  Maybe after you contemplate you will have a better way of talking about it.  

Honestly though, Fucked, I don't really think you are.  Picture the worst case scenario: he really isn't interested and it's because he thinks there is something wrong with you.  Will it be over?  

if it is over, are you over? 

The good news is that you won't be over, no matter what.  Which, in my book, makes you wholly untucked.  Maybe some very difficult times ahead but you'll be okay in the end.  Better for having thought it through and then talking about it. 

I promise you that, Not Fucked.  

Take time to be quiet, take time to speak.

Yours,

Tabby